"I turn into a zombie...shoveling food into my mouth until my stomach hurts and I have what they call 'food intoxication'. Sick...I know."- me
Wow....a blog. I really never thought I'd be doing one of these. Usually it's the paper journal that I forget to write in at months at a time that gets my attention. Not this time...no sirree! YOU are going to join me on the epic adventure of my mental illnesses and body image. You my friend, are going to help me lose 30 lbs. Noo it says 50 doesn't it.*sigh* ok 50.
Yeah I know I can search blogspot.com and find TONS of blogs on the subject. But, have you really ever wondered why there are so many? Because it has become the epidemic the healthcare professionals (Most are guilty of it also!) are raving about. But who cares about stats when there's a huge chocolate cake sitting on your counter waiting to be eaten?
My obsession with food started probably at the age of 5 when I realized I was an emotional eater. Ok so yeah I didn't "realize" it for sure then but that's when it started.
Whenever I felt bad or was crying my parents or grandma would give me a treat and it would all go away for that split second. Food has always been my blankie of choice.
It really hit home when I entered elementary school and knew that I was the fattest kid in the school. Well, at least I felt that way. Nothing like knowing you're gonna be teased for the 8 hours that you're expected to learn to make Sundays absolutely horrible.
Reguardless, it got no better as I reached puberty and the junior high. I was always treated like an outcast, picked last for all team games (accept tug of war and teeter totter races of course)
I didn't know until the internet came along that I could actually meet people who wouldn't judge me and there were many out there like me.
Now that I've rambled on, I wanna say just one thing. I blame no one but myself for being this heavy at age 31. A whopping 200 lbs (If not more since the time I last weighed myself) I don't like it and I need to make a decision to change it and stick with it. I'm type 2 diabetic and fear going blind. Apparently not fearful enough to stop having ice cream every night before bed however. I'm a kid trapped inside an adult body when it comes to emotions and dealing with them. Gimme a Snickers and Diet Coke and I'm a happy camper til the next emotional wave.
Lets get started? Hmmkay?
Starting tomorrow I'm gonna blog everyday and hope to have followers by the end of the journey. If not..well at least I've done it for myself right? I know I've said it time and again but I have to keep up with this one.
I was recently inspired by the movie Julie and Julia and want to accomplish something within a years time. So
365 days from today I want to be at least 30 to 50 lbs lighter than I am now. You ready?
Get on and hold tight it's gonna be a wild ride.
Today's Weight: 208 (good GOD man!)
Pounds to Go: 50lbs
Zombie Gurl: 0
Big Fat Hairy Fail:1
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